(Jean Ann Williams has an overwhelming story to tell, not just of the tragedy she endured, but of the God who saw her through it. I invited her to share a bit of her story with us today. She’s also offering a giveaway of her book, God’s Mercies After Suicide!)
On you was I cast from my birth,
and from my mother’s womb you have been my God.
My youngest child died by suicide on March 16, 2004. Joshua’s loss wrecked my life as though an earth quake had swallowed me whole. Yet, I landed within a crevice. My world down there grew dark and scary. Life as I knew it was over. Day by day, though, God sent people into my life to comfort and encourage me. I hung onto the faith Rock which is Jesus, and wavered neither to the left or the right. At first, I waited on the Lord to show me the way through grief, though I doubted I would ever know joy again.
God and I had many sit downs together, and I learned bit by bit to trust Him in everything. Even when I didn’t want to. I grew more comfortable with Him and wept and wailed before my Lord. I told Him, “Lord, I’m not blaming You for this loss, but I do not like it. No, not one bit.”
The Lord sent people into my life to help, even when I considered how to best write this book. One dear lady said, “Jean, you should write a book of devotions about your loss of Joshua.” This idea I liked.
When I spoke about the book I was writing to one mom, who had lost a son in an auto accident, she said, “There’s going to be a journal page for the readers, right?”
Most certainly, I told her, even though I had never thought of it.
I knew the book needed something to draw the reader to care about my son. Not only this, but to encourage them as they walked alongside me in the story.
Father, I’m truly grateful for the love, care, and hope You instilled into me as You nurtured my shattered soul. I’m not the same person, nor do I want for this. Please, help me to serve You by helping others who’ve lost children to suicide. In Jesus’ holy name I pray. Amen
A Mother’s Memories
This section begins in the book with my pregnancy of Joshua. When my body threatened to miscarriage at ten weeks gestation, I prayed. I rose up off my knees, expecting a gush of flow, but God stopped my hemorrhage.
Thank you, Lord, for allowing my baby to live so we could know him and the joy he brought to our lives. In Jesus’ I’m grateful. Amen
The Journal Page:
Your Mother Memories
Your Prayer of Praise
A Scripture of Encouragement
You see, I had to write about what God has done for me after my son died in my arms thirteen years ago. If it were not for Him, and as I grew weary, I would have joined my son three and a half years after his death.
God’s Mercies After Suicide:
What if your child shot himself while you were in the next room? What if you held him as his heart beat for the last time? What if Satan whispered in your ear, “Now where is your God?” Find out how Jean Ann Williams reached out with her spirit and mind to the one true Father. Discover how the Lord God answered her, and walked alongside her in the most difficult grieving journey of her life.
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More about Jean:
Jean Ann Williams is a member of American Christian Fiction Writers. She writes regularly for Putting on the New blog and Book Fun Magazine on the topic of child suicide loss. Her book “God’s Mercies after Suicide: Blessings Woven through a Mother’s Heart” started out as a blogged book on her Love Truth blog. Jean Ann and her husband of forty-six years have thirteen grandchildren from their two remaining children. They reside on one acre in Southern Oregon where they raise a garden, fruit orchard, goats, and chickens. Jean Ann’s favorite hobbies are practicing archery, hiking through the woods, and big game hunting with her bow.
God’s Mercies After Suicide Giveaway: